Sunday, 17 October 2010

don't despair - there's always the gear

Morale is fading. The impact of Pete’s excuses is growing inversely proportional to their import, while I’ve refused to go near the scales now for two weeks after a 10 day ‘holiday’. So in true reversion to type, here’s an overview of my two essential pieces of fitness gear which I hope will remind us (or not) of what this is all about.

First up is my Kothari fan – a fantastic piece of Indian engineering -purchased a decade ago (blimey) in the Bengal market town of Puruliya to keep me cool through scorching summers. I asked for the most powerful machine they had, and have never, 'till now, summoned the courage to push it beyond its lowest speed, lest the thing takes off. Its brother is currently sitting on the back of a dingy flying across the everglades. Hugely popular with the village kids, although it only really succeeded in pushing hot air around. But now it’s found its true calling as I hammer along on the ergoracer. Also has the advantage of being so noisy it precludes any attempt at conversation, so disguising the fact that I can't breath.
Kothari - it goes all the way up to 11

I remember seeing these guys performing in front of a bank of fans, hair trailing in the breeze. 15 years later and I’m pedalling away to Until my Dying Day with one of my very own. Oh the poetry.

The second piece of essential kit is this pagoda that now dominates the garden. 

outdoor porta-gym: apart from the gym bit

Pushing weights in the rain feels manly in a Gillette kind of way for the first three minutes, after which it gets cold and miserable. Winter weather is closing in and all grunting activity is currently banned from the house. So to avoid another of Pete’s ‘little excuses’ this has been hastily erected. I plan to start charging membership fees to Hotblack Gym shortly.

Unfortunately, ‘NOT WATERPROOF’ is the first warning that accompanies instructions, and an early gust of October wind sent it somersaulting across the lawn. But now securely tied, it’ll have to take the shed and garden fence with it if it's going anywhere.

So it’s onwards, no excuses. Just need to find some floodlighting and mirrors.

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